Crazy

You know what's weird? I'm such a space case these days that I totally forgot that Monday is Valentines' Day. Maybe that's not so weird really it's just that usually I'm so gung ho. Irregardless of couple-y status. I like to bake the heart shaped cookies with the red and pink icing for my friends (and occasionally I may foray into the wild and wonderful world of naughty shapes just for fun) and hand out the cute cartoony valentines and all that crap. Once I filled my roommates room with balloons (with hand drawn dirty pictures no less) and made a giant glittery banner for his wall and stuck condoms (still in their packages and perfectly useful - waste not want not) all over the walls and it was great. He was waking up with glitter in his eyes for weeks! And who doesn't love a guy with that special sparkle in his eyes? Tee hee. Okay yeah, that was weak. I know it.Moving on. Anyway, I think I might have hung weird valentiney things from the ceiling as well. It was great. But this year I almost forgot! Crazy man. Am I finally outgrowing my disturbing affection for retarded holidays? I have no plans for the day. I've bought zero valentines. Zero! It's kind of sad. I cling to my holidays dammit!

Maybe I'll just narrow it down a bit. Like instead of going all out for every single holiday maybe I should pick just 3. I generally prefer holidays that come with a lot of inexpensive paraphenalia. Like Halloween. That's a good one. And St.Patrick's Day. Who doesn't love a holiday devoted to beer? And green is a good colour for me. It's true. Brings out my eyes. Does that even make sense? Brings them out? Where? Where are they going? And are your eyes really meant to be out at all? Isn't the whole purpose of eyes to remain in the head? So maybe not St.Patrick's. Hmmm.

I'm thinking next year maybe I'll go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Now there's a city that knows how to throw a theme party. With boobies. I can respect that. I bet I could have beads coming out of my butt at Mardi Gras. But then that would make it an entirely different kind of party wouldn't it? Nevermind. What are some other good holidays? I mean Christmas is good but so cliche. Everybody does Christmas. Easter? Too cutesy. I like a holiday you can toast to. And toasting to Easter just seems wrong. Although I could wear a pink bunny outfit...but do I really need an occasion for that? Shit. I'm running out of possibilities. I must be tired or something. Nope. I'm out. I'm just going to have to reclaim Valentines Day. My favourite colour is red and they sell so many fun things for my Valentines decorating needs at the dollar store. It's obviously a holiday meant specifically for my amusement. I'm just going to have to bypass this year (although now that I've remembered it again I may have to mail out some belated valentines at the very least) regroup, and commense plotting for next year. In the meantime, if there are any fabulous festive days that could be easily and cheesily accessorised that I've overlooked please let me know.