The New Blog...

Okay, so here it is. So go to it. Because I'm not going to be updating this blog anymore. And for those of you who've been lovely enough to link my blog to yours please change the links...I like them! :-)

My New Blog!

Ooo...Shiny

I'm in the midst of setting up a new blog on my own website so I don't know if I'll be posting in the next little while...I've already imported all of the stuff from this blog and am now just tweaking things to my liking. I said tweaking. Tee hee. So I'll be posting my new blog address very soon. Unless I do something and the whole thing explodes. Which it might. Because I might. Because I'm generally pretty retarded. But in a good way I like to think. Okay bye!

Lalalala.

Here's a random thing that somebody sent me at some point. So I'm a little foggy on the details...what's it to ya!? Bah. Whose blog is this anyhow?!

Wow. It's been awhile since my last post...that would be because I'm very boring. And tired. Working in a prison sucks the life right out of you. It's true. I'm but a husk of my former vibrant self. Kidding. Ish. Whatever. And I can't even wear any of my cute outfits or makeup or anything to minimize the huskishness because well, you know. I'm so foxy as it is that it just wouldn't be right to be artificially enhancing my inherent foxiness when dealing with inmates. It would just be cruel. But today they had a bbq for the guards and other working type people at the prison so I got me some sweet cheese burger action. I still looked like crap but at least I had snacks. It was good. I like free stuff. Mmm...free stuff...and they're having another one on Monday! Woo hoo! Of course being surrounded by a whole lot of people in the blue uniform kind of freaks me out a little still but whatever. I'm getting over it. I can make eye contact now (most of the time) so that's a plus. I want a uniform! I could be imposing! I have uniform envy. Grrr (that's my imposing, guard-like snarl - just so you know).

One really weird thing about working at the prison is knowing that you're being watched at all times. That takes some getting used to. And then, just when you're starting to adjust (which in my case means doing my hair in the morning in the one way glass window of the control office - I think they like it) they freak you out by doing something like opening the doors (I have to go through a series of 3 or 4 security doors and one giant metal detector to get to my area) before you even buzz in to identify yourself. And sometimes they sing to you from the intercoms of all the other doors as you walk through the prison. The other day I had some guy from control talking to me all the way from my door to the parking lot intercom. Toward the end he was asking me to buy him a grass hula skirt and giving me his measurements. I'm not sure quite where that came from. It was pretty funny but really, really disturbing at the same time. And a little reassuring (the watching part, not the hula skirt - that was just disturbing). Because I'd be more than a little worried if I were working at a maximum security prison where nobody was paying attention at all. :-) I also enjoy when the inmates in my program make jokes about me pushing my personal security button if they colour badly or look at me funny. One of them was also offering to get me a new computer for "cheap" the other day because they like me. That wasn't so good. I told him if he didn't shut up I really would push the button (kidding - I really just told him that wasn't really appropriate but thank you for the offer). You've gotta be polite.

Oh, and today I was talking to another woman who works there sans uniform and I was demonstrating the crazy Lilo butt-wiggle she does when she's happy to see you and realised only at the end of it (pardon the pun) that I was in plain view of at least 2 cameras. That may come back to bite me...in the ass. Tee hee. Whatever.

I'm still unpacking. Who knew I had so much stuff? Okay, so pretty much everybody knew. Whatever. I have a lot of stuff. Blah.

The doglet had some serious diarrhea for a couple of days which was both gross and worrisome but I took her to the vet who stuck both a thermometer and a finger up her butt (she made her bum happy 2 times - for information on what that means exactly you'll have to contact my mom - which really didn't come out quite the way I meant it...) and injected her with saline (for the dehyration because that was a lot of pooping for such a little peanut-butt) which made her look like a camel (it was awesome, I wish I'd taken a picture of her squishy lump - so gross) and gave me some medicine to give her for the tummy as well as some special food and now she's all better. Which is good. Because she had one stinky butt. I was thinking of making her sleep outside. Not to mention the one night where she woke me up every 2 hours like clockwork all night long to...you know. Poop. With noises. Of the icky variety. Let's just leave it at that. So gross. Who's broke now? Me! But at least the peanut's butt is happy (three times now).

So that's pretty much it for today. My super cool friend the Senor came over and helped my clear out my storage unit on the weekend which was great...he also fixed the toilet in my ensuite (about a 5 hour job as it turned out), changed the headlights on my car (they burnt out) and did some yard work in the back yard. It was awesome! Super fantastico you might say. I dug it. Thanks Senor!!! Of course after that he'll probably never come back to visit me again...:-( Oh yeah, he also put together my easel and desk. It was kind of starting to resemble some sort of forced labour camp or something. Poor Senor.

And tonight I'm going to the night market with the cousins. Should be good. I'll take pictures. And formulate some snide remarks and anecdote-y type comments for your enjoyment at a later date.

Okay bye!

Blueberry.

Yep. This is Blueberry. I'm pretty sure Blueberry speaks for himself.

My Big Gay Weekend of Goodness (if by good you mean really, really bad...)

So some friends from the island (you know who you are bitches!) came over for the Pride Parade and man, did hijinks ensue! So much drinking (and just a little barfing), so much groping (when in Rome...), and so much karaoke! Fantastico!!! I'm a little tired from slaving away at the prison all day so I'm going to go forage for food and perhaps partake in a little nappy (as in a short sleep, I've not developed some strange diaper fetish) but I'll definitely be posting more on this topic later! Yeow!

Yes, that is me biting Shu's ass. What can I say? It's one fine ass. ;-)

Updatey Goodness.

So I've moved. I am no longer Angela of the Duncan Angelas. No no. Now I am Angela of the Surrey Angelas. And so far I'm digging it. I'm a bit of a sissy when it comes to moving (and by "a bit of a sissy" I mean "a total spazzmatic, psycho-hosebeast freak") so I was kind of shell shocked at first but I'm doing pretty well now. I bought a cute pair of heels (more trampy than cute really but lets not quibble) for about $20 (cdn) the other day in an outlet store in the States so I'm feeling a little better. Nothing like retail therapy to perk a girl up. Cheap, broke-ass retail therapy until I get paid, but retail therapy nonetheless. :-)

Not to mention, I have a great place to live (thanks Marla and Adam!) very close to the beach, Starbucks, Subway and Safeway, a good (but kind of scary) job at the Surrey Remand Centre (I think that's the real name) which is a maximum security prison (I'm right fancy now), and a month to prepare myself for school. Not that I'm doing anything that could actually be called preparing in anything but the loosest sense of the word. Because that's just how I am.

So yeah, at the prison I am now the Activities Counsellor (or maybe Coordinator...) for the Mentally Disordered Inmates. Otherwise known as Arts and Crafts. So far it's good. A little weird having to go through metal detectors and be buzzed in through all the doors and all that but kind of fun. I also get to wear a fancy shmancy personal safety device just in case I get stuck with a shiv. Kidding. I anticipate no sticking. Or would you call it shivving? Meh. But I do have a personal safety device and Marla tells me that if it goes off the guards do indeed arrive in a speedy and alert fashion (she set hers off accidentally once...I'm told that's really not something I want to do). I asked the head guy (I have no idea what their titles are...they have scary uniforms and make me kind of nervous so I can't possibly be expected to focus on these things) if I could set mine off if I was feeling lonely or there was a spider or I was hungry or whatever and he said sure. I'm assuming he was kidding. I'll let you know how that goes.

Yesterday I spent some time interviewing (again in the loosest sense of the word) potential tenants for the suite downstairs with Adam. That was kind of fun. Okay, maybe not so much fun as...not boring. There are more coming tomorrow. I'm stoked. I like that I get to have a say. I'm going to have to think of some really good questions to ask...I'm open to suggestions.

Did I mention my new shoes? Oh right. I did. Sorry. I don't hate them, I like them (Nacho Libre reference, sorry).

Um, one of the headlights on my car burnt out. That's inconvenient.

I miss my dog. I spend a lot of time hugging Marla and Adam's dogs but it's just not the same. Because they're huge. The doglet weighs about 6 pounds and these dogs weigh around 100. Each. Which actually makes them good for the hugging but not so convenient to carry around with me. I don't even own a bag big enough to stuff them into. Stupid dog sized dogs.

I dropped a shelf on my baby toe (right foot) while I was moving. It hurt.

Oh! Yeah, okay, about the move...it was really good! It went really smoothly and was relatively stress free. Which makes me happy still. The people who were supposed to help load everything up didn't show up so it was just my dad and I but it went really, really well. It took us awhile but whatever. I don't really have all that much stuff so it's all good. And Adam helped us to unload so that took much less time. Which was also very good. Yay Adam! Whatever. Yay me! :-)

And that's pretty much it. Okay bye!

The End of the World!!! (It's nigh I'm telling you, NIGH!)

Go here and watch this now. Right now. Seriously. So funny. Yo. (you really, really need to have the sound on).