But These Make It ALL Better!

I am so hot right right now. SO hot. Heartthrob Pirate is right! Yaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!

Have I Mentioned How Much I Hate Packing?

Because I do.

I Hate Moving!

Well actually I hate packing. I really, really hate packing.

Sweet!

This is probably bad form but I saw this photo on another site and I had to have it for my very own. This guy rocks!

Loser!

I totally have to tell you about this big loser I went to lunch with today! Such a loser. Actually that's really all I had to say about it. Stupid loser. Thank god for beer to make things bearable. (hi Andrew!) :-)

What Kind Of Pirate Am I? Seriously. What Kind?

My God I love pirate speak. Is there anything better? Yaaar!

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

What Disease Am I You Ask....

Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.

Attack!

Here's a funny photo of my sweet bundle of face biting love chomping at my very drunk friend the Senor. It's an old pic but it makes me giggle. Thank god for the random photo feature!

Beaver Sale

Need I say more?

Bendy Goodness (or is it?)

I went to Cirque du Soleil on Friday afternoon (before the nasty face attacking incident) and it was damn cool. Seriously. Who bends like that?! That's what I want to know. It's just not normal. And I should know. I don't know what that means. In any event, it was awesome. Fun was had. I also don't understand how people can spin around like that and not barf. I would totally barf. Marla and I were demonstrating our bendiness in true Cirque du Soleil fashion afterwards. We're graceful. Maybe we'll be starting our own troupe. Because we totally could.

Ow! Jeez Marla!

So I was out with my friend Marla and her super mean boyfriend Adam (who walks into poles) and she clawed my face! Seriously. For no reason whatsoever. She's a little aggro. I don't really know why she would want to hurt me like that.

It's Me.

So we had some family portraits taken today and I'm wearing a buttload of makeup so I figured I'd take a picture of myself with my phone and put it up so as to not waste it. Sadly it appears that the makeup isn't even really noticable despite my face feeling like frickin' plastic. I don't know how people wear this much makeup everyday! Yikes.

Smelly Goodness

This is so cool. I want one! Hey Senor, guess what kind of smell I'd be sending to you! (Bad ones, that's what kind). Yep. Check out the smellinator machine here! (That's not it's real name but I really think it should be). I find the best stuff. It's because I've got a nose for news...tee hee.

Oh Fuck...

I am officially screwed for money my first semester of school...there are officially no classes for me to teach at Malaspina in the fall and it's not looking too good for the TA position at SFU either. Grrr. This is not a very good situation at all. Ack. Ack I say. I have to go have a little mini-panic attack now...:-)

Funny

My friend the Senor has this fun feature on his website that puts up random images from his photo gallery and sometimes they're pretty funny. Like this one. It was taken in some crazy side of the road tourist attraction in California. I think it was in the Redwood Forest. Or near the Redwood Forest. I think. It was called the "Something of Mystery" but I can't remember what the something was. Hills of Mystery? Trees of Mystery? Or maybe it was insanity, not mystery. I totally don't remember. Whatever. It was all optical illusiony and I dug it.

Oh My God...

All of you really need to click the little Tom's Blog linky over on the right there ---> and check out the super fantastico headbutting videos on his blog. Seriously. Now. Stop reading and click already!

Brief Update...

Hello Everybody!

So here's what's up. For alot of you none of this will be news but hey, whatever. :-)

I'm moving to sunny South Surrey (I'm told the South is a very important distinction) for August 1st. Maybe July 29th. I'm not 100% sure as I'm waiting to hear from my Dad who is helping me move. Actually, I'm not really waiting, I forgot to ask him which day specifically and I'm waiting to get my ass in gear and ask. I'm a retard. But anyway, I'm moving. Soon. (If anybody on the island is feeling overcome by an overwhelming urge to lift many small boxes into a truck please feel free to drop by! As of today I have no one to help me load up except my Dad and I'm feeling not so good about that because he's got this heart thing and it's just not so much with the good). :-) And I found a place (which you could probably tell from the whole moving to South Surrey thing)! A great place! Marla and Adam are renting me the top floor of their fabulous house because they're moving to Hamilton so Marla can get her doctorate because she's smart. Supa smart. S-M-R-T! And it's very close to White Rock Beach which makes me quite a happy monkey. It's a zillion miles away from Downtown Vancouver which is less happiness inducing but whatever. I like the beach. And so does the doglet (who headbutted me yesterday while we were napping! Seriously, she had her little dog forehead resting against my face while we napped and then out of the blue she sneezed and smacked me right in the mouth! That bitch.)

Its not looking quite so happy on the money front...it looks as though I not only don't have classes to teach at Malaspina but I may not have a TA position at SFU either. None of this is certain yet but it's not looking too good. Notification deadlines have come and gone. I've sent emails asking what's up but so far I haven't heard anything. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but it's kind of bleak. Grrr.

Um, I did have something else to say but I've totally forgotten what it was due to the untimely wallowing in despair that comes about everytime I think about the impending joblessness that is me. More grrr. Don't get me wrong, I know it'll all work out and it's not the end of the world if I have to take a job (or 2) outside my field to get me through school...I just would rather make with the career building. Anyway, speaking of careers which leads me to think of work which leads me to think of the mounds of freelancey goodness awaiting my attention, I've got to go. Okay bye!

Mexicoooooooooo!

I so desperately want to go to Mexico. Preferably for the Day of the Dead.

Gnome Means Gnome. Tee Hee.

I painted this gnome for the Senor's birthday. I love this gnome. It has a Lilo and a gun. What could be better?

My Humps, My Humps My Humps My Humps. But Not My Humps at All Really.

And here's a pic of Lilo having a quick post-hump pant. She then had a post-pant drink of water and is currently engaging in another pre-bedtime killing/hump. It's a glamourous life and the more I think about it the happier I am that it's not the weekend. It's bad enough that this is what I do on a Monday night. If it were Friday I'd be in trouble. Please don't ask what I actually did on Friday. I might cry. But Wednesday...man oh man, Wednesday is going to kick ASS! Yeow! It's no Youbou but it'll be good nonetheless.

My New Boyfriend

Yep. Here we are. Sure he's got a pretty big head (who doesn't like a man with a big head?! Ha ha ha aahh. Funny) but he looks awfully good in eyeliner and I've always wanted a man who could do my makeup for me. This is a really awful picture of me so please disregard that aspect of things. Thanks.

Fire in the Disco. Fire in the Taco Bell.

For those of you who are still wondering where the aforementioned garbage smell was coming from, here's a couple of photos of some stuff that looks like it could be the source of the smell but isn't. It's just stuff. The smell was coming from an actual bag of garbage I forgot to take out this morning. So gross. The stuff in the pictures belongs to my neighbours who are a couple who live in 2 separate apartments who decided to move into one apartment together about 2 months ago and then proceeded to not pack and go camping for a couple of weeks instead and then decided to pack 2 days before they had to be out of the one apartment (they were going to leave the building altogether but seemingly didn't get around to finding a place which is what happens when you just don't look) and then didn't actually have enough room in the other apartment so...yeah. The landing. My landlord came out to my car to greet me the morning of the first as I came home from work with the words "now, don't panic..." because my door at the time didn't actually open all the way anymore. They had to clear me a path. I thought it was funny. I'm too lazy to panic. Silly landlord.

Hot. Too Hot. Way, Way Too Frickin' Hot.

Holy crap it's sweatier than a goat's butthole in July. And it is July so it's fitting. My super cute little apartment that I've been so sad about leaving is now reminding me very much of the depths of hell. (I visit on a semi-regular basis, it's where my roots are don't you know). But without the hijinx. So yeah. Hot. Sweaty hot. Sitting around in my underpants hot. Oh my god, I should be wearing my sparkly devil horns! Where are they?! Oh shit. I packed them already. Damn. What I wouldn't give right about now for some matching sparkly red underpants. Then at least I could feel stylish while sitting in front of the tv in my...yep...UNDERPANTS! Speaking of underpants (which I just was), there's this girl that I work with who cracks me up (but that's not actually my point) who just hates the word panties. Seriously. Panties. It grosses her right out. Probably not as much as me sitting around in my super hot granny panties would (I'm kidding, I don't actually have granny panties - no really, I don't, I got rid of them in my quest to become foxier - foxiness comes from within you know. You've gotta feel the fox. Which kind of sounds like weird porno speak for the girly parts and now I've grossed myself out. Not an easy thing to do either). Yikes. Of course having said that I have no granny panties I should add that I am possessed of a vast array of comfy cotton underpants. Not the peak of sexiness but not of the granny either. Why am I telling you this? Good question. Best not to dwell.

So I'm moving in 26 days. I think. And that's freaking me out now that I've actually thought about it because I still have a whole buttload of stuff to do. That sounds kind of dirty too. Damn. I must buckle down! Buckle down! But not tonight. It's too late to buckle down tonight. I'll commence the buckling tomorrow after work. Oh and after I have brunch with my friend. And walk the doglet. Then I will commence with the buckling. And some fine buckling it will be. The bucklingest of all the buckling. I don't even know what that means. I think I'm losing my mind. It melted and dripped out my ear. And the doglet ate it. Which sadly didn't make her any smarter either because she has a brain the size of a walnut herself. And she exhibits this on a regular basis by alternately killing and humping her plush doghouse. She prefers to sleep in a cardboard box. I think she may have emotional issues. Perhaps she should seek therapy of some sort. Yep. Therapy. With the biting and the humping and the sleeping in cardboard boxes and the whatnot. I smell garbage. Why do I smell garbage?

Soul-Searching Question of the Day

Why the hell would you drag some guy (and your sister who he also slept with) onto a daytime talk show to prove the paternity of your baby (yo bitch, he's my baby daddy!) if he's not? Seriously? Do these people think the paternity test is somehow miraculously going to prove that the white guy sleeping with their sister (okay, it's one girl in particular I'm talking about) fathered that cute little half black baby of theirs? So frickin' weird.

Stupid Fucking Canada Day

I hate Canada Day. Well not every single Canada Day. Just this one. This one sucks ass. I've been working for 14 fucking hours (that's counting driving to and from the one job in Victoria), it's hot, I can't find my glasses so I've got a wicked headache from this stupid computer (it's totally a tumour) and everybody else is out having fun in the sunshine!!!! Without me! I'm so, so bitter. Seriously. Why am I always the one who has to stay home and work on my stupid computer while everybody I know is out having fun!? I could totally cry right now. Fuck. Anyway, I'm bummed. I'm going to go get a cold drink and chill out for 20 minutes before I get back to work. Oh and then I get to go to bed nice and early because I have to get up early (5:30am) tomorrow to go BACK TO WORK. Because I have no life. I have even less of a life than I had 3 days ago even. And to think, I didn't think it could get any worse.

Okay, I'm totally being a whiney baby. Sorry. I'll be better after my tasty beverage. Of the non-alcoholic variety. I don't want to get all weepy and start calling people...:-)