Clarification

I'm feeling the need to clarify what I posted earlier about true love with the overcoming all obstacles and the whatnot. Maybe it's because I've just been going through some of my photos and stuff from Japan (my boxes of stuff arrived and have been sitting neglected at the foot of my air mattress until this evening) or maybe it's the atmospheric indie-rock mix I've been listening to for the past hour or maybe it's just that I like to go over and over things in my mind until they're worn down to a smooth and featureless lump. Whatever the reason, I'm in a clarifying kind of mood.

So, it's not that I believe in "true love" in the fairy tale, princess running around kissing frogs or licking toads or whatever it is she runs around doing. I'm not of the one person for everybody and that's all you get and if it doesn't pan out the rest of your life is a wasteland of meaningless sex and loneliness persuasion. No, no. I don't think that you ever find this golden, shining individual without whom your life will remain incomplete who will swoop in and rescue you from the mundanities of life and all will be champagne and glitter (the good kind, not the Mariah Carey singing at pitches only dogs can hear kind) and you'll never fight and you'll never make each other cry for as long as you both shall live. I mean honestly, I'm 30.

What I do believe in is finding someone you can fight with. Someone who might make you cry or vice versa but who feels compelled to be near you nonetheless. Someone you can laugh with who makes you feel like you're the only person in the room no matter where you are and whose voice sends shivers down your spine for no reason at all. Someone who might have horrible annoying habits that drive you crazy to the point that you fantasize about stabbing them in the eye with your fork but who makes it all disappear with a wink or a lazy grin in your direction. The kind of person you can get lost in when everything else gets to be too much.

I was reading over my earlier posts and the one about love and Kate Winslets hair made me cringe a little (not the part about the hair, I'm still a big fan of the blue). But I'm not a big fan of blind romanticism you see. I'm not interested in the hearts and flowers and teddy bears kind of love. I'm all about the messy, passionate, compulsive love that isn't always tidy and happy and sometimes actually sucks alot because that's what life is like and we need the low points to recognize that value and sweetness of the high ones. And that's my clarification. On a side note, I keep typing "tino" instead of "tion" and I think it sounds much better. Fancy like. Clarifica-tino. It'll catch on. You'll see. I'm a visionary.