Things That Pick My Ass (and not in a good way)

I've been slaving away over a hot computer all day so it's time for me to take a break and bitch a little about things that I hate. Because that's what I do. You gotta go with your strengths. Right Senor?

Today I hate old people. Not all old people. Don't get me wrong...I've got nothing against sweet little cookie baking grandmas. Nope. Not a thing. I just don't know any. The old people I'm talking about are the ones who walk up to the Starbucks counter in Safeway and ask loudly (yes, I'm sure she had a hearing issue, hence the loud talking but whatever. it's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to) "Do you only have Starbucks coffee here?!" and then turn to the other old people with them and say in an even louder voice (and by louder voice I mean shrieking harpy speak) "I bet they only have Starbucks coffee here! I don't think they have real coffee!" and then turn back to the counter yet again to demand "Well?! Do you?!" This picks my ass. It also picked my ass when she shuffled away with her crusty old friends (towards the adult diaper aisle no doubt) shrieking about the injustice of Starbucks serving only Starbucks coffee. But obviously not in those exact words. Because that would just be silly.

I also hate people of any age who refer to things they don't like as being somehow less real or valid than the things they do like. As in, "I don't think they have real coffee!" This really picks my ass. I don't like bitchy old people but you don't see me walking into old age homes asking "do you have any real people here or is it all bitchy old harpies?" Not even once.

I also hate people who come into my restaurant and ask me questions like, "Is your coffee any good or is it that crap coffee?" I generally respond "Oh yes, we only serve the crappiest of coffee here." Or how about "Are these prices in Canadian?" Not really related to the previous ranting I know, but annoying nonetheless. Or, "are the strawberries real strawberries?" I mean, of course not. They're wax. Isn't that what everybody serves these days? Fuck. People suck.