I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me

I'm in such a funk. I've been sick for months now (I'm not exaggerating, it's actually been at least 2 months) and it's sucking the life out of me. And I pretty much hate everything. But it's a low grade kind of hate, not the good ol' burning rage kind of hatred so I guess that's a good thing. I'm just so sick of everything and I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Which makes me wonder whether or not I'll ever be able to build a life for myself with any semblance of permanence. Or is it always going to be like this? Don't like the way things are going? Move! I know it's not that black and white...generally speaking when I move it's for a good reason and the rest of it is just convenient, but to be perfectly honest the going to school thing (because that's generally the reason I move) actually feels like an excuse. I'm feeling so crappy and miserable about so many aspects of my life (and myself) that I just want out. I want to start over. But how many do overs do you get in one lifetime before you end up with no real life at all? Bah. I'm going to blame this whole line of thought on the rain (you can blame it on the rain cos the rain don't mind - nobody says it quite like Milli Vanilli)and my ridiculously over tired state. And now I'm going to go back to my cleaning. Woo fucking hoo.