Why is it that people have to get so stupid and stressed out and bitchy and burst my happy Christmasy bubble? Why?! To everybody who gets pissy because of Christmas I say fuck off! What's the big fucking deal?! So you have to go out and buy some prezzies for your loved ones (and maybe a handful of not so loved ones) ooo...I'm really sad for you! Honestly, get over it. Christmas is a time for us to hang out with our friends and families, get some sweet prezzie action, eat some super fattening, partially narcotic food and generally be crazy and indulgent. How is this a bad thing? Feel guilty? Do something nice for someone - volunteer at a soup kitchen, donate some money or food or presents for people who can't afford them themselves. Find your families annoying? Suck it up! That's what families are for. Chances are you annoy them too. That's why god invented martinis. Don't like prezzies? I have nothing to say to you. I can't relate to that at all. I enjoy all aspects of the prezzie. I like buying them for other people (it's the easiest thing in the world to make someone happy at Christmas - even if your gift sucks ass if it's thoughtful the person will appreciate it and if they don't, then they suck and you should not spend another second worrying about them). And obviously I enjoy the getting of prezzies! Yay! Prezzies! How could you not love a holiday where you can find just about anything covered in a layer of glitter? Seriously. I don't get it. So, in conclusion, Christmas is good and people who run around in pissy moods trying to burst my super happy festive bubble with their overall crankiness can kiss my shiny metal ass (okay, it's not shiny or metal but I love Bender and if you don't know what that means then there's nothing I can do for you).
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment