Stupid Internet!

Sometimes I think that having the internet at home (as I now do because ain't I fancy) is a curse. Just a little bit. You see, before I had the internet at home it was a bit of an ordeal to check my messages. Not an ordeal of crashing on a mountain top and having to eat your friends to survive proportions of course but an ordeal nonetheless. More along the lines of getting takeout fries and then not realising they didn't put ketchup in the bag until you get home and you don't have any there so you have to go out and get some but by the time you do the fries will be cold so you eat them sans ketchup because cold fries are icky and there's no way to reheat them without losing the crispy goodness. You see what I'm saying? Who am I kidding? I don't even see what I'm saying. I've been working on this damn computer too long today. My brain is all mushy and ick. And now I want fries. But anyway, an ordeal. And now it's so handy what with my cute little laptop sitting here on my swanky retro coffee table (it really is both swanky and retro not to mention oddly shaped and I love it) all internetty and whatnot. So I check it all the time. And when I say all the time I mean ALL the time. I'm obsessed. I thought I was obsessed with my cell phone but that's nothing compared to this. And the thing about being obsessed with a communication device of this nature is that it's ultimately a big let down. I mean, before when it was all ordealy and I didn't check all the time I always had a zillion messages in my inbox and it was all exciting and I was feeling the love but now...nope. No way. Sometimes I have zero messages in the inbox. ZERO! And where's the love in that? Nowhere that's where! And it saddens me. I'm crying on the inside. Not on the outside because my eyes are really dry and burny feeling right now and not making with the tears. Stupid computer. The flesh, it burns!

So, in conclusion: home internet, while convenient = bad. Bad I say! Except for when it's good. Which is sometimes. But let's not talk about that now. You know what else is bad? My retarded little dog barking at absolutely nothing for no good reason at all. She's a small dog with a surprisingly loud and annoying bark that just echoes and echoes and makes with the stabbing pains in the ears and then the bleeding. Ouch. Not real bleeding mind you. Metaphorical bleeding which is almost always better than the real kind. Stupid ears.