Bottom Feeders and Other Yummy Things

I thought I should share with you, my fabulous friends from around the world, my newfound (okay, maybe not newfound so much as newly noticed from the perspective of being single yet again) attractiveness for bottom feeders. I am a magnet for losers. It's true. Catnip for dorks. I mean yes, it does make for interesting (I hope) and amusing posts about my fabulous new boyfriends but viewed in the cold, harsh light of actuality, it's getting a little old. A lot.

My latest in a string of ridiculous men who think that just because I'm not a total bitch (little do they know) it must mean I'm hot for them is my Dog Park Boyfriend. He's got a dog. She's really cute. A great dog really. The doglet and I dig her. My boyfriend on the other hand is less than diggable. I've talked to him for a total of about 10 minutes (he tried to talk to me the other day but I was already talking to someone else on my cell phone which oddly enough didn't deter him all that much until I waved and started walking away from him) and I already know that he's just started a new job (didn't ask him what because I don't care), he goes to his parents house for dinner alot when he wants to eat a good meal (because the bachelor life is wearing thin - his words, not mine) and he'd like to visit his friend overseas but it's just so far away (I made the mistake of answering him when he asked where I'd gotten the doglet). There was more but quite frankly my eyes had glazed over and my mind had fled to it's happy place by then so I can't quite remember.

And he's hot. Slightly bug-eyed with a beer belly (more of a paunch really), jogging pants in public with no hint of embarrassment, socks in sandals (white socks no less and water-proof sandals), and a t-shirt that said "I catch the fish, the woman try to catch me" although now that I think about it, it may have been "hook" not "catch." I can't remember. Either way, growwwwwwl.

And there you have it. My hot new single life in a nutshell. I'm kind of afraid to go back to the dog park in case he gets the idea that he should ask me out or something. Maybe we can go to his mom's house for dinner. That would be cool. Bah! I am so totally bait for bottom feeders. What do bottom feeders eat anyway? Oh god. I'm the algae of the dating world. Or fish poop. This sucks! Ass! And not in a good way!