I am a Superstar!

It's true. In our thriving little metropolis of Duncan I am now notorious. Seriously. How did this happen to me, the air mattress dwelling, unemployed, former Nova instructor in just over a week's time? Without the aid of copious amounts of alcohol (although let me tell you, a jug of wine in a paper bag is starting to sound pretty damn good to me my friends) or the assistance of any of my partners in crime (Shae, Virve do you feel the mysterious pull of Duncan? Does it call to you? Methinks it does!) With a little help from my faithful canine companion Lilo, that's how!

So, I'm walking the doglet as I often do and we're cruising the downtown sector, because you know how we are. We like to be where the action is. To feel the pulse of the city. The excitment. It's electric. Can you give me a woo hoo!? How about just a woo? Nevermind. Anyway, we're cruising along. We're window shopping. We're checking out the stores where the arty people go (to sell their crap made out of driftwood to suckers who think that beachcombing with a glue gun takes skill) and as usual Lilo is attracting all kinds of attention from the locals. We've got little old ladies with their walkers squealing about the cute puppy, we've got aging hippy women telling her what an elegant face she has (and soulful eyes, don't forget the soulful eyes) and we've got a whole freakin' plethora of truck driving, cigarette smoking, 1980s jean wearin' family types lunging at her with their smoky fingers (she's afraid of these people and alternates between hiding behind my legs and staring off in the opposite direction hoping I think that if she ignores them they'll go away) and then we've got the children.

Now Lilo ordinarily likes everybody. She's a bit tarty if you ask me. But since we've been here she's been a little sketchy. She now has people she doesn't like. And she has days where she's a little timid even with people she does seem to like. Today was one of those days. So we're outside this little store, we're strutting our stuff. It's all good. Then suddenly we hear "oh! the puppy! look it's a puppy! can I pet your puppy!?" in an octave I don't even have words to describe. So I crouch down and hold Lilo out a little so the kids can pet her. They're cute kids. No visible mucus. No scabs. I think, why not? And then...Lilo starts to back away through my legs which we all think is kind of cute and funny until suddenly it dawns on me that she's wiggled right out of her little harness! At that exact moment it also occurs to her that she's finally escaped her nemesis (she really hates the harness) and she takes off running. Not a little jog. Oh no. A full fledged, ears back, tail tucked sprint. So I drop the leash and chase after her calling her name. Fun. She stops. Her ears swivel and she turns and runs back toward me and I think "oh thank god, what a good dog." Yeah. Right. In my dreams. About 3 feet from me she swivels ubruptly and runs directly into traffic. By now we've attracted a crowd of people who are shouting at the cars to stop and at one another to grab her and Lilo is thrilled! She's playing the ever so fun game of "I'll run right at you and then at the last possible second I'll change direction completely and run back into traffic and then I'll to it again! And again!" It was fun. So there we were. Crowd gathered, people running back and forth across the road trying to catch her, cars stopped for about 2 blocks, the drivers leaning out their windows asking "where is she? is she okay? do you got her?" Yes, do you GOT her. I'm not even kidding. And there I am calling her (did I mention she doesn't respond to calling. We haven't got to that stage in her training yet.) and waving my scarf around because she likes to attack my scarf. And she did. But then she ran back into traffic. And then she attacked my scarf again and then again with the traffic. And of course everytime she got anywhere near me the entire crowd would make this noise like they were really tense and unsure of what would happen. A sharp intake of breath kind of sound. It was hilarious. In retrospect. So finally after about a million years (probably about 5 minutes max) with the help of a guy with a newspaper and some woman I managed to get her cornered and pounced on her as she tried to duck between us and back into the traffic where apparently she feels she belongs.

How does this make me notorious you might ask? On my way home I was stopped by about 4 different people in 4 different locations to congratulate me on getting her back.Not to mention the kindly people who advised me that her harness was perhaps too loose and maybe should be tightened. Or perhaps a smaller harness purchased. And a good time was had by all.