How Do I Hate Rogers...Let Me Count the Ways

I hate rogers wireless. Yep. Hate them. They suck ass. It's true. So I'm driving along in my car with my little doglet and I think to myself, "Self, you should call your Uncle Barry and see if he wants to go for dinner sometime this week" so I pick up my handy cell phone and dial said uncle's number and what do I hear? The dulcet tones of my darling uncle's voice? Nope, no way. Instead I hear the super happy rogers wireless man-whore requesting me to say or enter the last 3 digets of my postal code for "my security." Grrr. Now, I have a limit on my cell phone which is good. But what isn't so good is that instead of alerting me as I approach my limit (as they are supposed to) they instead sat with their collective thumbs up their collective bums and cheerily ignored my steady limit approach until...voila! Which in itself isn't really all that big a deal. I'm not completely insane. I have some sense of perspective. Not much granted, but some. So I enter my postal code. Well, actually I had to go home and look it up because I can't actually remember my own postal code because I'm a tad retarded but that's neither here nor there. :-) And I go through their stupid customer service menu with that stupid aggressively cheerful rogers voice guy (cheerful people make my ass twitch - especially when they're cheerfully inconveniencing me!) and I select the appropriate option only to be redirected once again to another ridiculously cheerful (this time female) voice advising me that the customer service office is closed and I should call back during regular hours. Of course they don't actually mention what those hours might be but whatever. I can get over that. The thing that really chaps my hide (I love that expression - chaps my hide - it's just got a nice ring to it) is that now I can't use my damn phone until I call them during their damn business hours, whatever they may be. Grrrrr! Ass-sucking ass-muppets!!! If I weren't completely locked into a contract with them for the rest of my natural life I'd show them! I'd get a new phone! Yeah. That's what I'd do. But as it is, I'll call their stupid "customer service" office and complain and they'll tell me in their ridiculously cheerful voices to just shut up and swaller what they gives me ter swaller. Ewww. I think I just grossed myself out there. Okay bye!