Spiders, accidents and other ass-sucking things

Well my friends, today was absolutely craptastic. Crap-tas-tic. Bright and early this morning my lovely little dog herein known as Ratface took serious offence to the couch that was donated to the charity that is me yesterday and peed on it. Alot. Which is actually not such a bad thing because it smells really awful already and it is filled with spider webs (we all know how much I love spiders), pine needles and other tasty bits. Not to mention the mildew. But I guess I just did mention it didn't I? Anyway, Ratface peed on the nasty couch. Then I hopped in the car to go to work, and promptly realised I forgot my shoes and had to make the Fred turn around and go back. A popular decision I must say. And then at work there was badness. And then I dropped a HUGE glass of 7-Up all down the back of one of my customers. And when I say all down her back I mean ALL down her back. And side. And a little of her front. And her bag. And jacket. It was beautiful. On the up side, she and her whole family of 10 were really, really nice about the whole thing and left me a lovely tip. So it turned out alright but oh the stress. I felt like such a retard. You'd think I'd be used to that by now but apparently not. So that was my day. Woo hoo! And now I'm quickly checking my email (none, in case you were wondering) and then it's back to my hovel with the scary spider-ridden smelly couch for more organizing and de-stinkifying. Okay bye.