Weddings...bah!

So my cousin's getting married on Friday and we're going. Which is good. I'm looking forward to it because I anticipate swankiness and dizzy making beverages and that's never a bad thing. Well, sometimes it is but I prefer not to dwell on the negative. That said, let's do some negative dwelling on my horrifying outfit. I can't even call it an ensemble because that would be giving it delusions of grandeur. The top is lovely. Seriously. It's a delightful seafoam green silk thingy with ribbons and a little bit of lace on the neckline and it's just so not me. Which is okay. Weddings aren't for being yourself. But do you think I could find a lovely skirt to go with the damn thing? No. Nope. No way. No how. So what did I buy? Three guesses my friends...if you guessed a flirty black swishy type skirt you're wrong. It's black, and it's a skirt but it sucks ass! It's so boring I could barf. I look like a spinster librarian. I should just slap some horn rim glasses on and call it a day. And not even a naughty librarian. Bah. And the cute sparkly shoes that I wanted to make it more fun totally didn't fit properly so now I have to wear my favourite gray heels which are sexy and delicious but so not party shoes. And then there were these other shoes that were the same colour as my lovely shirt but I can't afford them because they're retardedly expensive and now I'm sad. Do you see what weddings do? Do you see?! Does anyone remember my sparkly monstrosity of a wedding dress? How about the bridesmaids dresses?! Gah! I'm not even involved in this wedding and I've lost my mind.