So I went with my friend the Senor (obviously not his real name but it has such a nice ring to it doesn't it? Si Senor. How do you say "no" in Spanish anyway? And what does it say about me that I only know how to say "yes"? And "a beer please". And "take off your pants". Let's move on.) to see the Ring 2 last week and man, did it suck. How did it suck you might ask? Let me count the ways. Actually let's not. It was just really awful. I'll make a list (thus combining 3 of my favourite activities, list making - yes I am a loser, talking about movies and babbling)...
- The plot. Was there one? Oh wait, yes there was but it sucked. I can't give you any details in case you haven't seen this short bus rider of a movie and I "ruin" it for you. Ha.
- The really bad CG deer attack. Yes. Deer attack. You should probably watch it just for that. I think the bitch sitting behind us may have wet herself laughing during that particular bit of cinematic genius.
- The complete lack of any scary bits whatsoever. Not a one. And for those of you who have seen me watch a horror movie (or a cartoon with really scary music) you know it doesn't take much to freak me out to the point that the jacket, blanket, hands or whatever's handy comes up and over the eyes accompanied by strange, high pitched whimpering sounds. Sexy isn't it? But there was none of that. Nope. No way. To put this into perspective, I chewed a tiny hole in my friend's denim jacket while watching Arachnaphobia in the theatre. That's how easy it is people.
- The really blatant, we think the audience is full of idiots because who else would pay money to watch this crappy movie, "clues" to make the really complex (excuse me I think I may have just bitten off the tip of my own tongue trying not to laugh here) plot comprehensible for us simple folk. I can't believe I just used the word folk. What am I, 60?
- And I really hate that kid. He was kind of cute in a creepy sort of way in the first one but now? Just fucking annoying.
And now I stop. Must walk the puppy before it freaks out and chews my face off. It. Funny. Okay bye!
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3 comments:
HI ! I saw it too and there was a massive laughing in the audience when the deer part came on! It was quite dumb, and as you know I handle scary things just as well as you, Remember Fuji Q's haunted hospital! lol I recently watched the Korean movie "tale of 2 sisters" that we got the fan for when we went to see "Spiderman 2" Remember? It wasn't too good ither, not overly scary anyway! But I think the amnityville horror will be scary! YOu will have to go see that and chew random bits in boys shirts! :)
Damn! That last one was from me, Laurie, I just forgot to log in!
Ring 2? What? OMG, we're so behind in Japan. The Aviator just came out last week! Argh!
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