Ooo...Morning Terror...

I can't believe I completely forgot to tell you about my morning of Terror! So there I was, still a little wobbly headed from the wine consumption of the night before (because extended wobbly-headedness is the bane of my drinking existance) and in dire need of a long, hot shower (because everybody knows that that is key in the vanquishment of the wobbly-headedness. I like the word vanquishment. Is it actually a word?) wandering sleepily and defenseless into the bathroom and there it was. A big frickin' hairy ass spider (okay so maybe it wasn't actually hairy although I didn't really get a clear look at it's ass so really it could've been hairy for all I know). Lurking. In lurk. Right there in the middle of the bathtub! Nowhere near the drain thereby removing the possibility of my getting to the taps, turning the hot water on full blast and scalding the little bastard back down the drain where it belongs. Of course that course of action would've hinged on my being able to get close enough to the spider to actually turn on the tap which probably wouldn't have happened anyway. Because if we're going to be honest (and really we should because we're all friends here) I'm a big sissy. So yeah, it was in the tub flaunting it's eight legged untrustworthiness (WAY too many legs to be trustworthy) and I was there with the fear and the whimpering (quiet, quiet whimpering. I have my pride) and the Terror. And really that's pretty much the whole story. There was nobody there to kill the damn thing and I'm a total sissified dork so after leaving and returning to the bathroom several times (just in case it was thinking it would like to leave so I could get on with my day I finally grabbed some shampoo and stuff and washed my hair and whatnot in the sink. Which is really quite a feat what with the whole impending doom in spider form lurking behind me and the remaining wobbly-headedness which didn't fully leave until well after lunch. That wasn't really an interesting story at all. I'm sorry.