So in about a week I'll be geriatric. Bring on the depends and the menthol cigarettes. And don't forget the bifocals. On the upside I'll finally be able to dye my hair green or purple without all the "looks" from passersby. They'll just chalk it up to the whimsy of the elderly woman. Maybe I'll stop wearing a bra. I'll be one of "those" women. You know who I'm talking about...no bra, t-shirt tucked into their waistband as a substitute. Mmm...sexy.
And I've been doing that thing where you take stock of your life (ack! who ever decided that was a good thing to do?) and all I can think of was that line in Grosse Point Blank where Minnie Driver's character says of an impending high school reunion and the inward reflection that these kinds of things tend to generate, "leave your live stock alone people." It's kind of fun though...I had this plan in high school (because you always have to have a plan) of things I wanted to have done by the time I was 30...so what can I remember? Well, I was positive that 25 would be the perfect age to breed. In my mind I'd be finished whatever schooling and travelling I needed to do (including at least a year spent in Tokyo so at least I'm sort of the right track there) and would then begin my "adult" life of children and purchasing (home, car, etc). My goal was to be living in Vancouver, New York or Italy and working as a designer (either a fashion designer or advertising). Beyond that...I can't remember much. Must be all those drugs I did in the 90s. Tee hee.
But whatever. The one thing that kind of picks my ass about myself is that there are too many things I want to do. I don't have a singular drive. Which is both good and bad I guess. Good because I get to do a variety of things and I seldom feel really trapped by life (it's a horrible feeling and I can't imagine having to feel that way everyday) and bad because I haven't found any one thing to devote my time and energy to. At the moment I'm working as an english teacher, taking on freelance illustration work for a children's english school (educational materials for children aged 4 and under), working on another freelance job building a corporate website and semi-unified identity package for WPG, the design company Kohsuke works for, studying japanese and working on some side projects of my own (which include gre study and graduate school prep) which I don't want to talk about anymore in case I jinx them. Because I'm supersticious (sp?) like that. I enjoy doing all of those things but not any one thing stands out as the cat's ass if you know what I'm saying (and who decided that cat's asses were a good thing?).
Also, back in high school (and college and university) I never actually envisioned myself being married. Not really my thing I thought, but it's good. Who knew? No kids on the horizon but we've got a cute little dog (again who knew I could love a little dog? traditionally I'm all about the golden retrievers) and that's more than enough at this point. I like the little half-japanese babies but I'm not so sure I want one myself. Maybe later. When I've lost my desire to sleep. Or have anything even remotely resembling a social life. Not that I do now really, but there's always the option. This is important. :-)
My point? I have none. Or maybe I did but I've already forgotten because I'm so old. The memory is the first thing to go. Well, that and bladder control. Tee hee. I'm kidding. I'm surprisingly not bothered by the impending 30. I joke about the depends and the whatnot but I'm pretty satisfied by where my life has gone so far. I think I secretly had this fear that as you inch up on 30 you inevitably become obsessed with mortgages and mini-vans and babies and all those really grown-up things that I've never been particularly interested in and you begin obsessively searching for wrinkles and gray hairs and lose your sense of fun (because really, a lot of people do). And if it makes you happy then woo hoo! But not for me. No, no. It's all going to be okay...I'm hip. I'm with it. (Dukka, dukka, dukka...).
Anyway...I still have a week left before the big 30 (ok, 6 days but who's counting?) so there's still time for my migration and nesting instinct to kick in and awaken in me an overwhelming longing for the suburbs (and don't forget the mini-van) so I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it I'm really quite fond of this japanese car called the Cube which is kind of like a mini-van but it's square (hence the name) and has this really cool back window that wraps around the side of the car (I will NOT refer to it as a mini-van) so as to reduce the blind spot for the driver. And it comes in fun colours. Kohsuke says I can't have one because it would make me cry on the highway as a giant cube on wheels is so not aerodynamic. But my thinking is why limit yourself to one car? Why not a cube for looking cute in and a sportscar for driving on the highway? Seriously? Variety is the spice of life. We could have custom flames painted onto the sides of the cube. I'm going to stop now.
Ooo...and I'm stoked about my birthday celebrations because Kohsuke has some sort of surprise all planned for this weekend and I'm all aflutter because I love surprises!!! Especially birthday surprises!! I'm so excited I'm actually bouncing. Don't worry, it'll pass. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh! Birthday!!!!!!
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ee! Happy birthday to me!
Did I mention I'm excited?
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Well, It's not my birthday, I didn't eat crappy airplane food, or have schmancy shoes but I did really enjoy drunkin Duncan. I got free glasses at the liquer store today when buying beer, I don't know what effect that has on parking lot drinkers, but I sure as hell wanted to drink my warm ass beer then and there! It's too bad you had to go home, you mightve enjoyed the beer/golf/bbq/beer event I'm doing tomorrow. Yes beer is there twice because it's twice as good as golf. Ok, it's my kinda golf, pitch and putt. Something you can do under heavy blankets of drugs and alcohol hehe. Not well mind you, but as long as everyone is in the same state of mind, does it matter? Hey, this isn't unlike your answering machine, were I incessantly challenge the silence with pearls of unwisdom. Hmm... so what else is new... I still hate that guy at work, I like that swallow load thing, even though I convulse in fits at the thought. Well, my company has arrived... toodles Ange... Happy Birthday baby.
Tell your mom, thanks for the 'nice ass' comment ;)
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